http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1052881/Who-killed-Britain-A-new-book-reveals-land-Queen-Elizabeth-II-ruled-longer-exists.html
So, we don’t live in the same Britain that her Majesty ruled over more than 50 years ago! I imagine a lot of Brits are gasping for air trying to swallow the fact that a national newspaper finally had the balls to publically declare (albeit not very British but nonetheless absolutely necessary in this case) what we could have told the Queen herself at about anytime between 27th June 2007 and the present day, or indeed many moments between May 1997 May 1998 and the present day. (Just to give some credit to the Labour government – they did after all make a huge one-off payment to the national debt and secure the Good Friday agreement, which of course must be respected, unlike the first achievement, where debt has risen to record levels under our rather “prudent” Piss-it-all-up-the-wall Prime Minister.)
Your Majesty, I am not one to be rude or impolite but please stop listening to all the bullshit (also known as “nonsense”) that your government feeds you about the perfect, harmonised Britain in which we live. (A Britain that just happens to require the world’s most dense network of CCTV cameras to live in and you still don’t feel safe – however save a space in your purse for your future ID card – it can save you!) I implore you Majesty to come back from la-la land with the other Royal Teletubbies; I implore you to wake up and smell the.............well, how do I tell you...............the Royal tea bag! (However, “Get ‘wit it” would be the more modern translation, and it’s amazing that the Microsoft Word spell checker didn’t even underline “wit’ it” as a grammatical nor a spelling error) Please Majesty, wake up from la-la land using those two sugar cubes in your small cup of tea and rule over us with some sense of purpose and direction; leave the rather innocent touchy-feely nature of your world and embrace us here in your Britain wholeheartedly, for we desperately need some kind of leadership that injects a sense of collective identity back into the British people – that is a polite way of saying national identity. We all know it is going “down the drain”, “to the wall”, “to pot”, “up the creek”, “AWOL”, “kaput”, “pear-shaped”, and “rather doo-lally”, etcetera, etcetera – don’t we?
The Daily Mail in its article of Wednesday 10th September was not afraid to spell out some rather uncomfortable home truths in its depiction of “what we all knew anyway, but were too afraid to say” tone of voice. (For the fear of offending some other undefined group of people - that must be respected - because they are defined as different by the very fact that they are undefined - and we are not as such.) Let’s applaud the newspaper for trying to publicise what must have difficult in the asphyxiating politically-correct environment in which it must print its ink and cause the felling of many more trees. However, this might be one example of when such an environmentally unfriendly activity could have been justified, not too dissimilar from another major piece of news from the same day regarding the Greenpeace activists that successfully were able to claim in the courts that their criminal damage to a coal-fired power plant was justified in that they were attempting to prevent the even-bigger damage caused to the planet by the Co2 emissions of the plant.
Hoorah!
So we have two examples in one day from the same newspaper not afraid to stick two fingers up to extreme political correctness for a change. Of course, the sceptic might say that all this publicity and temper-tantrum attitude will make little difference – point duly noted – but when we wake up one day and our sense of national identity that has made us feel so proud of who we are, secure, and with a sense of belonging to a group disappears, then I don’t want to hear anyone say that they weren’t told. However, always one to look on the bright side, I guess that the ultimate loss of the British identity (and thus the political union on which it was founded) will give the PC brigade a mission, sense of purpose, and a real big mammoth of an event to pour their pens over for years to come. They can waste money, time and paper all they want trying to figure out how it could have happened. (Oh I just realised; it did all of a sudden dawn on me - excuse me for not explaining the term “PC” – this equals “politically-correct” – I am genuinely sorry to any group that felt excluded by their lack of knowledge of abbreviations) Back to the point, I wonder if the PC brigade will recognise that for once in their artificially-created bio-bubble (fast running out of air because nothing can imitate Mother Earth nor the true art of breeding bullshit) that they didn’t actually consider the British people, because if they do their jobs well, they can save £500,000 of public funds and still discover that this is the true answer. Learn from the lesson of spending £10,000 to tell us that the best biscuit to dunk in our tea was a digestive, oh mighty pen-pushers! (No offence meant to the actual researchers who completed the investigation.)
To close my moaning session, I address you again your Majesty by saying that I absolutely, without the shadow of a doubt; without feeling the guilt of my most non-PC act to date, look forward to seeing you on your arrival from la-la land. The kettle is on and the biscuits are waiting. Have a safe trip on the Royal plane!
(Just to tell readers for the record, only two errors were highlighted by Microsoft Word in this text – the first was “Teletubbies” and the second was the “lally” in “doo-lally.” Not bad at all I’d say.)
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